I think im dead

Its been weeks since we both decided to left each other, i thought we can be friends after but he seems hated it.
I dont know what to say here i dont know i really don't know, just by saw his vids, listened to our song especially his favourite songs i cried and i started again to re read our convo as i miss him so bad, i cant seem to move on yet even many times i say he doesn't deserve me.
I hate that our last convo was ugly, i told him that i dont wanna end like this but he keep pissed me off and that made him hate me more 😞
I miss my lil luffy i really do 😣 but hes an asshole 😤